Use
What's
the use of use
What could
be better than what we're already used to
If our
goal is omniscience to the point of omnipotence, what do we do when
we've got it
Speak
to god in its language
Or speak
existence itself
Have we
replaced good with use
God with
us
And another
voice rises from thought to further define our darkness
I would
say an idea is useful only if it changes physical behavior, and physical
behavior is useful only if it attains maximum benefit for minimum effort
And another
I'll tell
you about use
Twenty
percent of americans admit to drinking alcohol or using recreational
drugs at work
It's estimated
another twenty percent don't admit to drinking alcohol or using recreational
drugs at work
Furthermore,
if we consider nicotine and caffeine drugs, it's estimated ninety nine
percent of americans use drugs at work
All that
for just ninety nine ninety nine
Yes, authorities
claim workplace drug use decreases productivity, while increasing workplace
injury
Other
authorities claim their jobs would drive them completely fucking certifiably
insane if they weren't stoned out of their minds every day
Still
other authorities claim debilitating epidemics of drug addiction routinely
follow the CIA into regions hostile to american business policy
Stay high
and keep low
Until
the battle passes
Hallelujah
Preach
on sister
Sky high
before the assembly line
Indeed,
drugs make it easier to carry the parasite we feed
When I
worked at the cannery, my job was to remove unlabeled cans from the
line as they passed me, and to place them on another line going the
other direction
After
the first four hours, I was already so desensitized I had to concentrate
to distinguish between labeled and unlabeled cans
By the
end of the first day, I couldn't see the cans as individual entities
any more
They'd
transformed into an endless green snake speckled with silver scales
That's
when I decided to start doing drugs at work
Up the
anti with a pro
Alcohol
romanticized every silver can into a reckless tragedy, and me its merciful
deus ex machina
Coke and
ice brought em on motherfucker
Pot and hash shattered the line into a thousand lines radiating from
bolivian tin mines to midwestern factories to fields of peas basking
in the midwestern sun to trucks to markets to my hands to intestines
large and small to organic and inorganic waste disposal plants into
the earth and out again
Ether exploded the image of each can onto my retina
Mushrooms
and acid summoned a visible but mute musical note over the line whenever
I played a silver scale on the serpents back
And massive
quantities of nutmeg set the notes ringing
And eventually
I acclimated to each, and each became as mundane as sobriety once was
All my
senses, in every sense, had finally been reduced to use
I finally
had the feel of it in my hands, the taste of it in my mouth, the acrid
din of it in the dark when I closed my eyes to sleep
And one
day the motion of my hands on the assembly line became the motion of
my hands on the canvas
I became
addicted to this new work, to the way it made reconciliation possible
between myself and a world of lines
Only then
did that earlier work feel truly useful to me
Only then
did I value memory
Someone
coughs
And across
the table another continues
The key
to efficiency is taking for granted
Assumption,
not reinvention
However,
by inducing the mind to reinvention, drug use can sometimes find more
effective methods
By backtracking
down the peak, passage to a higher peak might be discovered
Something
missed the first time might be recognized
Or one
might fall from a cliff
But such
falling is almost inevitable in this system
Allow
me to read from Morgan
'Mechanistic
approaches to organization work well only under conditions where machines
work well: a) when there is a straightforward task to perform; b) when
the environment is stable enough to ensure that the products produced
will be appropriate ones; c) when one wishes to produce exactly the
same product time and again; d) when precision is at a premium; and
e) when the human "machine" parts are compliant and behave
as they have been designed to do . . . However . . . mechanistic approaches
to organization often have severe limitations . . . they a) can create
organizational forms that have great difficulty in adapting to changing
circumstances; b) can result in mindless and unquestioning bureaucracy;
c) can have unanticipated and undesirable consequences as the interests
of those working in the organization take precedence over the goals
the organization was designed to achieve; and d) can have dehumanizing
effects upon employees, especially those at the lower levels of the
organizational hierarchy'
Choose
your metaphors carefully
Your blackest
hole, your shapeliest light, the outline you make with time
The gathering
minutes grow another voice
Another definition of use is the name we give the debt we owe the dead
for their dreams
Our libraries
are full of them, whispering in our eyes
It's sexual
debt they say
Yes, they
want us to fuck their experience into being
Into being
our headstart in the race they started with death
The race
we're calling use
Funny
you mention that
My girlfriend
broke up with me because she calculated I'd slept with twice as many
people as she, and she decided she'd never feel secure in a relationship
with me until we'd had the same amount of sexual experience
I thought
we were getting along fine, but since I doubt we'll ever even out, I
suppose this is goodbye to another fine dream
Resist
the tyranny of experience man, resist it
We're
not the totality of our experience
We're
an endless field of potential
I understand
what you're both saying, but experience might be all we've got
It might
be our only currency
Let me
tell you about a particularly awful and enlightening afternoon I experienced
recently
I was
sitting in a café in antigua, and at each table a couple was
discussing something different and the same
At one
they compared drug experiences they'd had, at another people and places
they'd screwed, at another extreme sports they'd survived, and, at the
table under the boar's head, one kept going on about how another people
had wanted to kill his people and how his partner would never understand
because no one had ever tried to kill her people, and finally she asked
if it made her less human if her ancestors weren't victimized
She asked
if he thought her people could use a little killing
And if
his people would like to do it
As for
me, the next day I climbed an active volcano and ate a perfectly ordinary
peanut butter sandwich at the top
Anything
can be ab-used
However,
memory, and therefore learning, only acquire meaning through quantitative
accumulation or qualitative extremity
Purely
associative, categorical referencing makes prediction impossible, since
associations can only be made after events occur
To predict,
you need to watch a process or engage in it for awhile
To build
an adequate model to put your adequate self in
Some people
just learn faster I suppose
It seems
to me the most useful issue to consider is the role of the individual
in relation to the emergent whole
What it
does consciously or unconsciously, for or against the sustenance of
the life system
You must
consider who you are, and how this you is helping to define we
Every
movement of mouth or body is a bee following another towards a growing
hive
A generative
ignorance of universal order
Time to
wake up and see what we're building
Because
the hole we light with naivety is the hole we light with adversity
We are
one in diversity
But remember,
decisiveness is inversely proportionate to knowledge
The greater
the knowledge one possesses, the less decisive one is
The more
one empathizes with all sides
As knowledge
increases, action decreases, unless the knowledge is spread out over
many mutually exclusive "minds," whether human or inhuman,
acting towards an unconscious, common end
Then decisiveness
proliferates into cascading action
Some say faith is all the god of the book asks
Faith
and instant decisions
Some say
prometheus and lucifer, the givers of fire and morning light, are unacknowledged
symbols of experience demonized
Are we
afraid of experience, of recognizing patterns
Afraid
of the dark, but more afraid of what the light might uncover
Afraid
of being frozen by indecision
Perhaps
this differential between cognition and motion is a truer measure of
fear
And fear
a measure of use
I sat
up with my mother the night she died
I heard
her whisper her dead sister's name
And then
that insect sound
I lay
my hand on her belly, taut with the tumor, and I said goodnight and
I walked down the corridor and out the door and past my car and into
the starlight and I kept walking and walking till I was home and walking
still
I feel
now I know something about death, something about premature death
But I
honestly cannot say if it's more than a feeling, if it's more than simply
knowing how I alone will deal with death when next I meet it
Do I know
death better than a child who will meet it as surely as anyone in this
room
It is
the inexorable right of all life after all
Personally,
I find god useful for this, though I have had no direct experience with
god, to my knowledge, to my memory, wrestling with it, speaking with
it, being in any way with it
I find
the notion of god as useful as fear of eternal death
The world
drives us to disgust and to theories about how it should function instead
of how it does function
This drive
is as natural as the world
And as
beautiful
How much
nature can we tolerate when we see it in ourselves, when we see the
earth falling about us and cry to our children, no, I'm not dead, there
is no such thing lurking in me as nature, nor such a thing lurking outside
either
I've got
something to ask all you who consider yourselves writers
Have you
ever thought maybe your experience isn't important enough to want others
to read about - maybe you're being vain - even if you're not conscious
of it, you're probably propagating ideologies that will harmfully affect
future generations - if your writing gets published, it might only distract
readers from better work - you're wasting natural resources, such as
paper, and whatever it is they're burning to run your computer - if
you ever finish this poem or story or whatever it is you call it, it
won't be nearly as good as it was when you first imagined it - has a
poem ever saved anyone's life - if you want to change the world, whether
for good or ill, there are much more effective ways to do it - aren't
there enough real stories worth attention, without inventing fictitious
ones - isn't it dishonest to make up stories in the first place - someone
else already did this, and probably better - isn't it easier to just
not write - you can't support yourself doing this anyway - you still
have to wake up and go to work tomorrow morning, so why not have a beer
and relax while you've got the chance
What's
the use
I'll tell
you why people write
To make
sense of their own lives - initiate social change - compete with the
past - maintain levels of artistic excellence in ever-changing languages
- converse with the past and the future - resurrect the dead - discover
new modes of expression for new human experience - translate timeless
experience into timely language - because the lifestyle of a writer
suits them - to make money - monumentalize the word - identify themselves,
their communities, their nations - fulfill the function of conscious
dreams - fulfill wishes, prophesize, and link emotions to instincts
- alleviate loneliness - construct puzzles for others to find meaning
in solving - attempt a cultural and material afterlife - exert control
over the world - bring the breast or the bottle back again - present
us with possible ways we might be, worlds we might inhabit - show us
ways we might unwittingly victimize or be victimized - educate us, sensitize
us, unite us through the infection of feeling - find truth in the world
- produce new realities through the realities we already possess - like
drugs, dreams, and massage, to subject us to affective experiences that
challenge belief - because the only way to understand what's before
or beyond language is through language itself
Hallelujah
When hope
fails us, it is our duty to continue out of sheer blessed stubbornness
Make it
new
Make it
useful
Make it
in the back seat
New useful
metaphors are genius, and new useless ones are eccentricity, and no
one knows which is which until one is used to describe something standing
outside the border of the collective imagination
Give me
déjà vu and I can find you anywhere
Swinging
wildly at ideas in private, only to come out into public, exhausted
as when matter wheels madly into void and settles into form
Is the
space where form works itself out the space between private and public
Where
private particulars become public abstractions
There
are cognates in my calling as well
For example,
a man deep in prayer or a woman in the throes of painting are in the
same state as a child lost in play
They are
each in a paradoxical place which is both inside and out
This place
makes experience possible because it assures a reality to go to when
one leaves
If one
leaves
Dude,
that reminds me
I was
walking barefoot on the night sky once, when I came down and realized
I was walking across a parking lot full of broken glass and I just kept
thinking this is the temperature of paradise, no, this is the temperature
of paradise, no, this is, over and over, and oh yeah, that's the last
time I smoked formaldehyde
Pause
I'd like
to get to the heart of many matters by asking if it can ever be useful
to kill people
Are the
many forms of ceremonial human sacrifice, such as capital punishment,
war, martyrdom, tragedy, and schwarzenegger films, useful in any way
Pause
Ceremony
might maximize stability by re-affirming shared beliefs and assumptions,
thus allowing for more efficient re-production
However,
ceremony also makes systems less flexible
And ceremonies
such as killing people operate according to models which hide inefficiencies
that would be exposed by other models, such as educating people
But where
do the tracks go that education's greasing
Which
education
A world
without guilt
A world
in which all resource use is equalized among all human beings, and uninhibited
access to those resources is ensured as long as it doesn't infringe
on the access of others, present or foreseeable future
What would
be the carrying capacity of such a system
Another
measure of use
Another
speaks
Planning
for the future is intentionally living in the absence of what one desires
to live with
It is a
philosophy of deferral
Anything
can be abused
For the
map user, the map is the known by which she understands the land, but
for the map maker it is the land that is understood and the map which
is unknown, but which, nevertheless, must be imagined to be of any use
Always
ask, what is the purpose, and the purpose of that purpose
Always
ask, with the passion of one who's given up, 'what's the use!' and then
don't give up
Our life
story, language, worldview, style, and even consciousness are metaphors
for who we are
By taking
turns carrying each other they make us possible
As from
our total unconscious experience rise metaphoric constellations of parts
of that total, forming what we call consciousness, what we call ourselves
We might
say genetics are fuzzy meanings fixed by context, just as words are
fuzzy meanings fixed by context
Both are
shadows of past environments cast onto the present
Our language
has evolved much as we have, much as our bodies have
In fact,
you might say language is an outward manifestation of our bodies
Our infinitely
divisible and absent gatherings
You might
say something that changes human evolution
Might
embody time with your music
Might
speak us into existence
Might